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Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy
Season 1, Ep 18: The Bartender Says...
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S1 · E18
2m
1. Super Mario Rescues the Princess
Mario saves Princess Peach, but things get a little creepy when he asks her for a kiss.
1m
2. A Dog on the $25,000 Pyramid
A dog and his human partner fail at The $25,000 Pyramid.
1m
3. Why Bob Marley Should Not Have Acted as His Own Attorney
Bob Marley defends himself against cops when he says he "shot the sheriff".
2m
4. Adopted
Michael's parents reveal that they are not his biological son and that he was adopted when born.
1m
5. A Scotsman Who Can't Watch a Movie Without Shouting at the Screen
A Scotsman makes some negative comments at the mistakes made by some of America's favorite film characters while he's watching the movie on his TV. He watches Tootsie, The Muppet Movie, The Breakfast Club, and Back to the Future.
1m
6. Two Ducks Watch 'Meet The Parents'
Two male ducks believe that "Meet the Parents" isn't funny.
2m
7. A Scotsman Who Still Can't Watch a Movie Without Shouting at the Screen
The Scotsman continues to make negative comments at his TV screen while watching a movie. This time, he watches Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, The Truman Show, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and The Shawshank Redemption.
1m
8. Cat Staff Meeting
A cat staff meeting is interrupted by a dog smashing the office building with a wrecking ball.
1m
9. Barry Gibb Rides a Roller Coaster
Instead of screaming, Barry Gibb sings while going down on a roller coaster
1m
10. Marital Troubles
A mime and his wife get divorced because he gave her the silent treatment.
1m
11. Jeff Goldblum Wafers
Jeff Goldblum makes a commercial about his own wafers that talk.
1m
12. Jesus and Vishnu on Christmas Eve
Jesus states that he sees people decorate their homes for his birthday, but not Vishnu
1m
13. The Frog Prince
The story of The Frog Prince goes wrong.
1m
14. Monkeys Talk About Religion
A father monkey and his son discuss about the "Monkey God" and "Monkey Jesus".
1m
15. Mountain Climber
A mountain climber poops while on top of a mountain and lands on a couple getting married.
1m
16. Ted Nugent is Visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past
Ted Nugent kills the Ghost of Christmas Past. Afterwards, his family eats it for dinner.
1m
17. Mad Cow Disease
A cow couple discover about Mad Cow Disease on the news.
1mPlaying
18. The Bartender Says...
Two men in a bar tell a "Bartender Says" joke about a horse. Surprisingly, a horse is in the bar and gets offended by the joke.
1m
19. Backstage with Bob Dylan
Popeye and Bob Dylan get into an argument after a concert.
1m
20. Fred and Barney Try to Get Into a Club
Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble try to get into an exclusive nightclub, but are denied admission.
1m
21. Beavers: Assholes of the Forest
Some animals claim that a beaver messed up quite a lot of things in the forest.
2m
22. Things You Never Hear
This episode counts down the top ten things one never hears.
1m
23. A Trip to the Psychiatrist
A bulimic woman named Abbie visits the Psychiatrist.
2m
24. AIDS Patient Zero
A Canadian man and monkey have gay sex, where a bombshell is dropped.
2m
25. Name That Animal Penis!
A game show about figuring out an animals penis is much more difficult than imagined.
2m
26. Die, Sweet Roadrunner, Die
Wile E. Coyote succeeds in killing the Road Runner, but is now left with the question: "What do I do now?"
1m
27. Sex with... #1
A showcase of sexual moments, which include... Mr. Sulu A Folk Singer A Necrophiliac A Trapeze Artist
1m
28. A Fat Guy Working Out
A fat guy is going to work out... and then puts it off and gets a sandwich.
1m
29. A Gay Knight
A gay knight refuses to fight a dragons due to not wanting to be killed.
1m
30. A Douchebag Unicorn Gives a Public Service Announcement
A Douchebag Unicorn ends up giving a PSA about how Marijuana is great and how you should write down your ideas.
3m
31. Fred Flintstone Takes a Shit
Fred Flintstone takes a shit... that's about it.
2m
32. Stuck on a Life Raft with Matthew McConaughey
A random man stuck on a life raft with Matthew McConaughey resorts to cutting off his leg for food and eventually stabbing him in the chest as Matthew just prattles on.
1m
33. Two Persian Guys Try to Get Ladies into Their Sports Car
Two Persian guys act like stereotypes to get ladies in their sports car for a night on the town.
2m
34. He Who Lives in a Glass House...
A man who lives in a glass house has a machine gun installed on his roof to fend off annoying neighbors.
1m
35. Sex with... #2
Another showcase of sexual moments, which include... Dick Cheney Gilbert Gottfried A Midget Optimus Prime
1m
36. Quentin Tarantino Performs a Circumcision
Quentin Tarantino crashes in to perform a circumcision on a baby.
2m
37. The Wizard of Oz, Adjusted for Reality
When the group succeeds in stopping the witch, they are shocked to discover that The Wizard was literal with their requests...
1m
38. Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
To have sexual relations with your mother.
1m
39. Sex with... #3
The final showcase of sexual moments, which include... A U.S. Senator A Tube Of Toothpaste A Redneck A Sheep
1m
40. Dirty Vaudeville
Two singers sing about the smallest pussy in town.
2m
41. Fat Jesus
Some villagers ask help from Jesus for a crippled man, but Jesus is too preoccupied with his acid reflex.
1m
42. Dracula Meets Magic Johnson
Dracula invites Magic Johnson over for dinner with bad intentions.
1m
43. The Sneeze Throw-Up
Exactly what it says on the tin...
1m
44. The Settler's First Attempt to Buy Manhattan From the Indians
Settlers attempt to give beads to the Indians in exchange for Manhattan, but things don't entirely work out.
1m
45. Four Years of 'Entourage' in Ten Seconds
The first four years of the "Entourage" series (Between 2004-2008) is summed up in ten seconds.
1m
46. Tara Reid is Not Looking So Good Lately
Apparently Tara can only speak out of her stomach.
1m
47. Small Talk with Aunt Helen
Aunt Helen talks to her nephew about his wife and is disturbed by what they did with a slice of leftover wedding cake.
1m
48. Marie Antoinette's Notepad
We see Marie Antoinette's process on how she came up with "Let Them Eat Cake".
2m
49. Sheep Shearing
A sheep gets way too interested in his owner shearing him.
1m
50. What Happens if You Feed a Dog Chocolate While He Wears a Tin Foil Hat in the Microwave
A dog is fed chocolate while he wears a tin foil hat in the microwave for 15 seconds with disastrous results. Wil Wheaton cameos at the end, explaining that it was a bad idea.
